This psychological skill will give you a better understanding of yourself and others

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and manage your own and other people’s emotions. By controlling your emotions, you are able to respond appropriately in every situation, refusing to be undervalued or abused, or to throw in the towel without putting up a fight.

Emotional intelligence isn’t something you are born with, but you can learn to manage your emotions. Here are some skills you can start working on.

Emotional control techniques

1. Conquer your insecurities: Have confidence in what you can, accept that you’ll get things wrong from time to time but that it won’t matter, and remember that others also share your fears.

2. Overcome anxiety: Make life simple, practice not overreacting (count to three or to 20) and get enough sleep.

3. Find a way to let of steam: you may like sport, martial arts or running, or perhaps you prefer meditation (yoga, mindfulness). What’s important is to have an escape route to release tension.

4. Accept your surroundings: Some situations and people are beyond our control,. nevertheless, you have no option but to live and work with them. Try to accept them without trying to change them and everything will flow better.

5. Learn to say “no”: be more assertive, in other words, say what you think without being offensive, even if you do not agree. Show you are listening by saying, ‘I understand what you mean’, or ‘I hear what you are saying’, without giving up your position. If you don’t have the strength, postpone the conversation.

6. Think positive: Balance your personal and work lives, always show gratitude, do regular exercise and meet up with people. Personal relationships and laughter are the best medicine when you feel sad.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to put themselves in the other people’s shoes, put happiness and sadness into perspective, overcome adversities and always look to the future with optimism.

This post is also available in: Portuguese (Portugal)